Just.. to not be under attack 24/7 all year long is such a relief i am.. Comorbidity of Asperger's syndrome and bipolar . They are certainly not genetic. From the very begining I was subjected to weeks of silent treatment and this would only end when I grovelled back to him and said sorry. Id like to hear from some of these unusual couples as they may be an inspiration for less fortunate individuals. Here are some books that helped me a lot, saved my life in fact. Ever since we got together he has been judgmental, critical, controlling and insistent on being right about everything. I have to say Id not come across this behaviour at all and wondered what was happening, but we never consummated this union as I was very, very unsure about this particular intimate activity. I had no idea how narcissism presented itself in relationships and have read a lot about it as time has passed. Married 49 years. But the relationship was then, and hard, and without that relationship I mentioned, with the Aspergers/Narcissicistic person, I would not have had my second breakdown in 2015, which was more severe than the first, and took much longer to recover from. For instance, I have autism, but Im not one-dimensional, I behave differently around different people (as does everyone you dont behave the same way to your SO as to your boss and to your friends). Now, Im older than him and odds are he will be left with the house, but it annoys me he puts nothing into it. I honestly dont know if I would bother with therapy if not for the potential to help improve my marriage as we both move into our middle age (which Ive heard can be a turning point for many/most). Then another decade or two of OK and good times, regular job etc. But that gave me tiime to study. He asked is it the closeness that bothers you? Either hes pretending not to know or he really doesnt get it. They do not do this to be controlling, feed their ego, or fulfill a personal need for superiority. I do think he has a certain amount of autism as I have read a lot on that even before I met him, its a subject that interests me considering my own thoughts that I may have a small degree of it. Even if i explain and show how my mother tried 3 times in 15 years to push me to suicide by enabling gambling and making me have loans i didnt even want. Yes, my emotions were running high and my feelings were very hurt; but I am a gentle, thoughtful person with many family and friends suffering from mental illness. While I fret over finding best power deals, house insurance etc, he doesnt even notice and sits on his x box!! All the self help books provide the type of suggestions suitable for a 35 50 year old still in work, with children and friends and a reasonable partner, who is thought to be wanting to get on and achieve goals My only goal is to get through another day. I felt guilty and sad that he didnt tell me about his difficulties, but not sure I could have coped with it on an intimate level anyway. Pure innocent ignorance has a lot to do with it as I had no idea I ought to know of these traits..which I didnt, I called the behaviour conditions as I had no idea these conditions had names. I hope there is someone in your life to guide you to be responsible for yourself as it sounds this has been missing for you, or you have not understood what was being taught and you may feel threatened by this. I personally feel if anyone wants a good example of a full blown narcissist, the president of the USA is one of them. He came from a very isolated situation where he was taught only to depend on himself and never ask to borrow or lend off anyone else. I had to tell him 3 different occasions the same thing before he realized what I said and was surprised. Observe his real behaviour without your emotional attachment. It took me a lot of book reading and watching DVDs to begin to understand where my daughter was coming from and it was very much of a relief to finally understand what I was doing wrong in the way I was handling her. The relationship will fail if you think that "dropping hints" or describing your needs in vague terms is enough to get your point across. A hug for you because I think you need one, and I hope you can rise above all this to a better life. Im a Christian and like the verse that says He that covers over his sins shall not prosper and vengeance is mine, I will repay and he who troubles his house shall inherit the wind. I feel there is something not right here, some kind of personality disorder which led me to your article on Aspergers. It doesnt bother me at the time, but the next couple of days Im shaky inside and feel a bit sick. I randomly searched and found your comments and felt like I found an answer I was long searching for. Some of the seeing form opinions, that the Blind guy is just being obstinate or purposely manipulative, because he knows more about the statue than the rest of the room, and pretends to not be able to describe the image or colour. The difference between these women is really easy to spot. He tries to curb these comments but complains its stressful for him having to monitor his speech for me. Always been told i am LAZY LAZY how.. i am ADHD too! According to the film The Magic Pill, even eliminating carbohydrates can markedly reduce the symptoms of autism! I think I may be a Narcissist/Sociopath. The difference is that while all people with Aspergers are narcissistic (not NPD, but self-centered; it's a central trait), all people with Narcissistic Personality Disorder are definitely not aspergers, and can be the total opposite: super smooth and charming. I had spent the past 20 odd years trying to help my husband and felt a tremendous amount of guilt because of things he would say to me. I do think his obsession with his daughter will go down somewhat once she leaves as the incessant talking about her although still a lot, was not as bad when she wasnt living with him. We developed fantastic intimacy when were were in that space, and I doubt Ill find anything to compare with it. If they do this, then they are Narcissistic, if they dont then it is Asbergers. Narcissists will use what they can to manipulate the situation, which then overlooks whatever tendencies they have from being racists, sexists, etc. Lol the good thing is it forced me to figure it all by myself.. i got a master degree in narcissistic disorder lol and now i spot them from miles away. The last time was when I left. Another idea, is to step back from your life and look at it from an outsiders point of view. It may be that people with Aspergers are as varied in their characters as other folk, some of whom are incredibly cruel to animals and some of whom love then to bits. Could it be your loved one displays symptoms of both? Please dont underestimate how hard changing your perspective can be!!! Think I am almost there. Very interesting. Narcissism IS high functioning autism where intervention has failed and been fooled by a child desperate to survive and appear normal as they approach teens and social survival starts to become paramount. I should be.. i dont know, depressed? . also, autistic people, like every other type of human being, ARE capable of intentionally hurting the feelings of their loved ones. Other than that he completely fits the description of a narcissist not someone on the spectrum as per your chart above. 2. Oh i was not that smart i mean it was crazy to do that but with the list of things i was dealing with (ADHD, autism, bipolar, borderline, ptsd, violence etc) i guess i was allowed to not be perfect? I am peaceful, i dont work against others. Author clearly has major prejudice against people with narcissism. Can anyone suggest what I can do ???? She has equal parts of autistic traits AND narcissistic traits! Asperger's does not exist in a bubble that protects it from co-morbid disabilities and mental defects. Can I please get a clarification here? If we can generate these so called disorders in humans and animals (unethical I agree) with basic methods of no surprise to the modern up to date (i.e. He blames others for whatever happens, he was in denial at the beginning when he should have been organising the whole country to pull together, and it is still not pulling together. Now I know for sure Ive fibromyalgia and Im dealing with it alone. People with mental disorders, sicknesses and what not they are not going so bad because of their own the world.. society.. narcs.. healthcare.. everyone is set to destroy them and finish them off directly or indirectly pushing them to suicide. Break up and never look back. So on top of all that.. i am trying to convince myself that im smart, good, etc. Over this past couple of years through my unconditional love for him he has come to the realisation that he does have aspergers syndrome and is now starting to understand himself and why he is different to most other people around us. A truly beautiful person. We are both seniors and the idea of starting afresh at this age is daunting so Im afraid to let go. Your partner will probably not be able to do the things that are important to youat least not in a satisfying manner. For example, many people with high-functioning autism are capable of manipulation, guilt-tripping, and not allowing you to say no. He said I it was from a 30 year job in law enforcement where that is accepted but I think its just the way he is like he has no clue not to do it. I fell out of love about 3 years ago and only stay for financial reasons. Sociopathy or its synonym Psychopathy is not listed as a mental disorder, instead these personality traits are covered within the diagnosis of APD. We married at the age of 22 and had 4 beautiful children together. there I said it, is the world still running? But I do believe my father thinks completely different to other people. I see my psychiatrist regularly. Only when I moved out from the shared house did I lose my fear of her. Ugh. But @ times he really gets to me & upsets me with his behaviour ! The average autistic person is very well-meaning, but misunderstood. Am I with someone autistic, a narcissist, or both? I wonder myself, as I learned eventually to to tap into my mothers sanity, albeit temporarily, which was a gift in itself. I feel totally blessed to have a 2nd chance and we have had a lot of terrific times together. If this fellow you have been seeing does have Aspergers as you mentioned he watches the same movie over and over, you will need to learn as much as you can about the condition to be able to understand how to handle someone with it. This disrupts her organised thought patterns and she goes into meltdown. Life is smoother now I know where she is coming from. All I suggest Jean, is that you do as much research on both these subjects as possible to put you own mind at rest. Treatment. Weird, but Im not complaining. It has taken me several years to rid my ex from my brain. I do not accept any kind of social heirarchies to me everyone is just a human being. depression. I would start saving the world right now and accuse all the stubborn people like Greta does, this is how sociopathic i am. Is he manipulative, yes. I however also suspect him of being a narcissist. I have a very interesting inner life trying and making sense of my life to the present moment but have no idea whether all this info could be used to move therapy to a better place with unarguable regulation for all.
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can you have both asperger's and narcissism